First Draft: Plan for Revision

In order to revise my essay, I must first think of a title. I have a couple working titles. Some of which are very traditional: “Individual vs. Society” or “Conformity vs. One’s True Self.” Yet other titles are more satirical (which I like best): “The Underlying Deception of Characterization” or “Elizabeth: the Conformist.” I’ve also constructed an outline, which will hopefully keep my ideas in an orderly fashion. There are a few grammatical mistakes, easily fixable by looking over my first draft a couple more times. This was a very rough draft, so I’m going to go through and add a couple more quotes from the novel to support my points and just overall revise this draft before turning my final essay in on Sunday. 

Conformity Essay: First and Second Paragraph

The ongoing conflict of conformity versus one’s true self has always never been easy for me to understand. Is it the decisions we make in life that dictate who we are as a person, or the other way around? Similarly, how can we never conform to society’s norms when we are surrounded by people who change and influence our decisions starting the moment we are born? For this reason and many others, I seem to always look confused when a person tells me to be “true to myself,” mostly because I’m not sure who that may be. When Elizabeth is portrayed as a non-conformist in the novel Pride and Prejudice, I can only assume it is due to her black and white characterization by Jane Austen. We already know that Elizabeth will reject Mr. Collins offer because she is painted as an unconventional individual in the society in which she lives. However, in reality, one’s true character traits are not so apparent and therefore, one’s answers are not so predictable. Although I believe there is no such thing as “conforming” in a realistic society with realistic people who change and evolve regularly, Elizabeth is a constant character in a novel and is an evident contrast to the similarly consistent yet flawed society.  

England in the 17^th century was male-dominated and most individuals exercised different customs than are popular today. The most influential aspect of life in that time was the subsidiary role women played to men and how attention from such men- especially with a large fortune- was a privilege women must “win” from others. This is first evident when the reader is introduced to Mrs. Bingley and finds out of her intentions for her daughters. “The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news” (Austen 3). Within this quote, the reader gets a view of both how a young woman is treated within society as well as how she will grow into nothing more than a gossip and wife. Austen strategically uses Mrs. Bennet as a symbol of the wrongs in 17^th century England customs; therefore, Elizabeth is a symbol of the complete opposite, a symbol of rebellion- a feminist hero in a male dominated society. Of course she does change her mind and end up marrying the once perceived scoundrel in her eyes- Darcy, further proving my point. Does Elizabeth conform when she chooses to marry the wealthy, persistent, rude male? Or is it simply human nature to transform and reform ideas and values?

Outside Essay Edit

In Essay “A for Alfi,” I found that the language was repetitive and the structure, unclear. When Alfi illustrates Austen’s introduction to characters in the novel “Pride and Prejudice,” he repeats himself over and over again to get the point across, when in actuality, he should be giving more context and analysis. Speaking of repetition, he seems to always repeat the same words without any variations, making the reader feel bored. I feel Alfi gets a little too specific in the intro while explaining “good lists vs. bad lists,” where he definitely could have waited to introduce that topic until the body paragraphs. I thought the conclusion flowed very smoothly until the last sentence when he said the word “opinions” too many times. My ultimate issue with this essay is one of structure, easily fixable with the right thesaurus. B.

In “B for Beatrice,” I felt her introduction was very nice: it showed complex vocabulary, was smoothly written, and definitely says something about her point of view. I love that she used many transitions, such as “thus, moreover, however,” because it really helped the reader move among the sentences. I noticed that she used textual evidence in the form of quotations, which she analyzed. I liked that she did this a lot, it made her writing seem a lot more effortless. This by far was my favorite essay of the bunch, because she took a strong stance while also writing elegantly. A+.

Oh goodness, “C for Cecilia” was not a well-written or thought provoking essay. Starting with a quote would be a good idea; however, not in this context and definitely NOT with that quote. Cecilia used a lot of clichés and hyperboles, such as “minute they meet them” and “judge a book by it’s cover.” If these points were essential in conveying her argument, I would understand, but they simply did nothing- considering she didn’t even have an argument to start with. Cecilia stated facts instead of analyzing them, and then just repeated herself. Another way Cecilia repeated herself was with diction; she kept saying “he/she” and “his/her.” Between her poor analysis and less than complex language, I was expecting a stellar conclusion where she brought it all together in a stunning way. I obviously didn’t get what I had hoped for. D.

Conformity Essay: First Paragraph

The ongoing conflict of conformity versus one’s true self has always never been easy for me to understand. Is it the decisions we make in life that dictate who we are as a person, or the other way around? Similarly, how can we never conform to society’s norms when we are surrounded by people who change and influence our decisions since the moment we are born? Is our truest form to “ourselves” in the womb before our little decision-making minds come into contact with other little decision-making minds, and even then, our mothers dictate our diet? For this reason and many others, I seem to always look confused when a person tells me to be “true to myself,” mostly because I’m not sure who that may be. 

To His "Koi" Mistress

The beginning of "To His Coy Mistress" contains words that are meant to slow the reader down, such as ve-ge-ta-ble. The reader must really take the time to sound out Marvell's argument at first, as if he is just "warming up" and the real meat of his argument comes in the second stanza. As the pace gets faster, the poem's content gets more heated and, in my opinion, offensive and aggressive. Marvell not only uses words to alter the reader's pace, but also to belittle the mistress's integrity and honor... not the best way to get a woman into bed, I have to say.

Book

I have decided to read The Accidental Billionaires by Ben Mezrich which was made into the movie The Social Network in 2010. I loved the movie, and I heard that the book is much better, so by default I'm going to love this book. I'm excited to get started!

"Introduction to Poetry" by Billy Collins

Billy Collins illustrates how poetry is meant to be read and enjoyed, instead of dissected and manipulated in order to find a hidden meaning that may or may not have been the author's intention. One line that stood out to me is "I want them to waterski/ across the surface of a poem/ waving at the author's name on the shore."It seems to me that Collins is promoting poetry as a fun way to experience literature and asking students to have fun and just experience the poem without caring too much about it's depth.